To paddle or not to paddle?

Hello all,
Recently on social media I saw where a school district in TX has voted to bring paddling back into their schools. Of course, there is a huge debate online between parents who agree and disagree if this should be allowed in schools. I am in total agreement with this form of discipline.

I grew up with this during my school years and it was an influence on my behavior in school. I believe it was a major factor in most of the children behaviors that were exhibited in my school compared to the classrooms of today. The classrooms today are usually unruly and the students are very disrespectful to their teachers. I have experienced this as a substitute teacher and my sister who is a teacher has as well. This behavior affects the learning and education our children receive. How effective will a teacher be if she/he is disrespected and fear retaliation anytime they attempt to enforce the rules?

I have seen videos online with students in a teacher's face, yelling, cursing, and threatening to harm them.  Most of the time there are no consequences for these actions. But, it doesn't just stop at the school. Kids nowadays are disrespectful to authority period, rather it's their parents, teachers, etc. What has become almost the norm was not common for children in my generation to behave this way. We were disciplined at home as well as school.  We were taught to respect our elders and we were held accountable for the things we did.

Children today have no accountability for the behaviors they display. Society not only removed paddling in schools but it also removed the right from parents to discipline their own children. Psychologist argue that spanking will cause children to be angry and act out, etc. Well, please explain all the school shootings, children killing their parents, cyber bullying, and increased teen suicide rates; just some of the issues that are affecting our youth today.

Taking this right away makes it harder on parents. It takes away the parents authority and   and gives children the "if you hit me I am going to call the police" attitude.  The same children will become adults who are not accountable for what they do and feel like the world owes them something.

I do believe that the discipline should fit the child. Time out does not work for every child and neither does spanking. I feel that society generalized all children the same and said spanking was wrong all together period. That is not the case, some children respond to that type of discipline. I do not believe paddling and spanking is always the answer but I do believe it should be an option.

Marcee' Bonds
A Single Mother's Point of View Raising a Black Man
www.marceebonds.com
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UPDATE!!! Going Live!!...Lets talk...July 19th 8pm CST

Hello everyone,
I was scheduled to go live this Thursday and every one after. But due to scheduling conflicts my go live days will be Tuesday starting July 19th.  Thank you for your support join me on my Facebook page.  I will discuss my book, parenting topics and anything else that I find interesting. Please remember to send me your parenting questions or concerns that you would like me to discuss.

Respectfully,

Marcee' Bonds
info@marceebonds.com
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Going Live....Let's Talk!

Hello,
I am so excited about the opportunities that social media gives us to connect and reach out to each other. I am going to start using Facebook live on my page weekly. I will discuss various topics, talk about my book and answer your questions about parenting.

Send your questions or topic suggestions to:
info@marceebonds.com

Live broadcast schedule
Every Thursday @ 8:00 pm CST starting July 13th

Hope to see you there!

Regards,
Marcee' Bonds
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How do you explain death to your children?

Hello,
Unfortunately, my father died unexpectedly two weeks ago. As I was going thru the emotions of the shock and helping my mom with the funeral arrangements, I was on the fence about taking my 6 year old to the funeral.  On one hand I was like this is his grandfather and he knew him even though a short time this would be the last time he would ever see him. Do I deny him to see him one last time? But on the other hand I was thinking will my son even understand what is going on.  My child is very inquisitive so I knew he would ask me a bunch of questions about the whole experience. I thought long and hard about it.

I remembered my first experience with death. My paternal grandfather died when I was 9 years old. There was no discussion with my parents about what I was going to experience, but I still have the memory of that experience. I really didn't understand the concept and I didn't understand why everyone was crying and carrying on. But, from that moment I associated funerals as a sad and overwhelming experience. I wasn't sure if I wanted to expose my 6 year old to that experience and let that be his first. I understand death is something we all will have to deal with it but at what age do you explain it to your children.

I decided to take my son to the funeral. He was already aware of what was going on because he was with my mom when she found my dad. I wasn't sure how he would handle it because the kids were at a family members house while the coroner was there doing the things that needed to be done. So this would be the first time he seen his grandfather as well as a dead person as well as going to a funeral. I was a little hesitant but I concluded that I did not want him to regret that he did not pay his last respects to his grandfather.

As I anticipated, he asked a lot of questions during the funeral and it was hard for me to grieve and be a mom at the same time. But he asked away and I answered to my best ability. He went to the bathroom about 3 times during the service, mind you we are seated at the front of the church.  He did cry a little but I think that was because everyone else was crying. Then he was playing with his cousins that were sitting behind him. I eventually gave him my phone to watch cartoons on YouTube. That kept him quiet during the rest of the service. But, it did not stop there of course he had questions once we got to the cemetery. At this time I let him stay in the van and watch his shows. I wanted to pay my last respects in peace.

I am not sure how my son feels about the whole thing. Based on his behavior it was just something we did for grandpa.  I think he finally understands what was going on it took him some time to process it. A few days later after we came back home, he did say "I miss grandpa" and my response was "we all do".

Of course this will be an on going discussion. I will make myself available to talk to him about it and provide answers he can understand.   I am glad that I did decide to take him. Sometimes as parents we overthink things I was worried about him and he handled it a lot better than I expected him to.

Marcee' Bonds
Email:  info@marceebonds.com
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Thank you all!!

The demand was so high yesterday that I have decided to extend the autograph offer. So if you missed it yesterday don't worry you can still get a copy for $8.00 plus shipping and handling. Click the button the below. Supplies are limited so hurry.

Autographed Copy

Marcee'
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Today Only!!! Save on Autographed Copy

Good morning..today only get an autographed copy of my book. The price for your copy is $8.00 plus shipping and handling ($4.95). Thank you for your support. Click below to get your copy now.

Autographed Copy

Marcee' Bonds
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Would you do jail time for your son?

I was on social media the other day and someone posted this question. The question asked... would you do 90 days in jail to keep your 17 year old son from going to prison for 13 years? A lot of mothers posted yes and of course without any hesitation. My answer was different as well as a few other mothers. We said it depends on the crime. Here is my exact response...."it depends but probably not because I'm sitting in jail he still probably gonna be getting into trouble & we both will be in jail lol...because 4 that much time it must be serious & I taught his ass right from wrong and that there are consequences for his actions he needs to be held accountable"

It just blew my mind that these mothers said yes with out asking any questions such as, what was the crime? Is he guilty? They were ready and willing to go to jail and I don't understand why. I can see maybe under certain circumstances, because there are innocent black men in prison, but to do it with no questions asked and no information makes no sense to me. Where is the accountability? What are these mothers really teaching their sons? You can do the crime and I will do the time.

Boys need to learn responsibility and accountability early in life way before they become young adults. Learning these things will hopefully give them the ability to make better decisions where a mother would not be in the position to have to make the decision to go to jail for her son. I believe if your son has committed a crime that can lead to prison time, the only thing a parent should do, if they choose, is to get him a good lawyer; and I feel helping him with that depends on his behavior. If he has been behaving like a juvenile delinquent then going to prison may be his destiny.

I don't think that prison is the answer for our youth. I believe we need more mentoring programs and outreach efforts in our community. But, I believe as a mother we should not always be so quick to rescue our children. There will be situations in life where we won't be able to save them and they will need to able to figure things out on their own. They will never learn to fly solo if you keep them under your wing. As I look at the youth today, I can tell that they are not being held accountable for their actions. They are very disrespectful to anyone in authority, such as parents, teachers, etc. A lot of parents are not raising their children with good old fashioned values that worked for us. They are allowing children to behave like little adults instead of kids. They are allowing them to express themselves and do what they feel versus being a parent and making them do what is right.

Some mothers will decide to do the time for their son and that is truly their choice. But, ask yourself this question. Do you think your son will visit you while your in jail for something he did?

Marcee' Bonds

Author of A Single Mother's Point of View Raising a Black Man

http://www.marceebonds.com

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