My 6 Year Old Was Being Bullied

My son was so excited and nervous to be going into the 1st grade. He talked about it all Summer long. He had so many questions about it. Will he do good? Is he smart enough? Will 1st grade be hard? Just the usual curiosity for a 6 year old. My expectations were about the same and very simple. He would go to school, learn and make new friends, but I never expected he would be a victim of bullying.

We are in Houston and school started two weeks late because of hurricane Harvey. Everything was good at first. He was bringing homework daily and learning new things. We would discuss school everyday and he would tell me all the things he learned each day and what all the bad kids were doing as well. I would say maybe after two weeks of school he started telling me about a boy calling him names.

At first, I didn't think much of it, you know kids are just being kids. This will probably die down after awhile they will laugh about it and move on. But, it was consistent and eventually came to the point it was almost daily. My son would come home and say mom so and so called me this (bad name). Why does he call me (bad name)? I tried to encourage him and speak positive things to him and tell him that is not your name and just ignore it. I tried to be positive, but when he came home one day and said this is making him feel sad, I knew I had to do more.

With him telling me he felt sad, I automatically started thinking the worse. I know my son is young but there are a lot of kids that have hurt themselves because of bullying. At this point I knew I could not just blow this off. I asked my son if he told his teacher, he said no he couldn't tell his teacher. That was a concern to me that he did not feel safety in telling his teacher. My first step was to get the teacher involved to see if the school could intervene before things got out of hand. I wrote a note to his teacher explaining the situation and asking for her help with this matter.

I am glad to report that this was addressed right away. The teacher spoke with my son and the little boy, but she also got the boy's parents involved to make them aware of his behavior. The little boy also felt bad about it he was crying and apologized to my son for his behavior. I kind of felt sorry for him but hoped he learned a valuable lesson. When I picked up my son from school that day his attitude was a lot better than usual. He was smiling and very happy to tell me he had a very good day at school.

I am glad that this was resolved, but I am also sad that this has happened. In my mind, bullying is something older kids go thru but now I see it can happen at any age. I am glad that my son felt comfortable enough to tell me what was going on and I am glad that I did not sweep this under the rug and approach it as if he needs to "tough" it out.

I hope this will be a life lesson that both children will carry out. As parents we do our best to protect our children. We should never take for granted when our children share their problems with us, even though it seems minor to us it is a major problem to them.

Regards,

Marcee' Bonds

www.marceebonds.com

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Would you enroll your child in an online school? Why or why not?

Hello all,
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope enjoy this post and please feel free to comment.

Lately, I have seen commercials for K-12 a tuition free online school. After so many times of seeing the commercial I decided to do my own research and the tuition free part really peaked my interest. I went to the website and they offer two different programs for students beginning at 3rd grade to the 12th grade. That makes sense to me, I think it would be difficult for smaller children to learn this way. At that age they will have all the basics, they are a little more disciplined and are able to sit and listen.

It looks like a good school, but I am not sure if it's something I would ever do. My concern would be my child lacking the social skills that are learned when interacting with his peers. I believe we learn a lot of life lessons when dealing with people that can only be learned through experience.  In my situation, my son is somewhat growing up as an only child so most of his social interaction is at school.  Even though he is too young for the program he really enjoys being around other children. I don't believe it would be an effective way for him to learn, he is an extreme extrovert. He will talk to any and everybody, he is very out going. I am working on that trait, making sure he does not talk to strangers when I am not around.

I am quite sure there are circumstances where this would be a good fit; such as, if your child is being bullied or if you child has special needs that are not being met by his school.  A lot of parents prefer to home school their children as they believe it will provide a better education for them.

As I stated before it would not work for me. I believe the social interaction with his peers is necessary and I would not want him to miss that. What are your thoughts? Would you enroll your child in an online school?



Marcee' Bonds
www.marceebonds.com
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How Can You Choose a Sex Predator over Your Children?

Hello all,
I hope you have a very good week and thank you for stopping by to read my blog.

Last week, I watched a couple of daytime shows and this was the topic. I could not believe that these mothers were choosing to be with an alleged sex offender.  They were not only in relationships with these men, but they chose to put their children out of the home to be with these men.  I was in shock and disgusted by the mothers behavior and no matter what explanation they offered it just did not make sense to me.

As mothers our job is to protect our children from harmful people and situations. How can you knowingly bring a man into your home who is an alleged sex offender? One of the mother's believed he did not do it and was being falsely accused even though he plead guilty to the crime. My opinion is I don't have to know for sure you did it, the fact that you are being accused is enough for me. I would not allow him around my children or any children in my presence.

I may seem judgmental and everyone does at times deserve a second chance, but I am not the one to give him that chance. I could not live with myself if I opened that door and he harmed my children. But, passing on a guy who turned his life around I can live with that. As a mom my kids come first, these women are being selfish and putting their wants first.

I can't imagine ever choosing a man accused of harming children over my children.  The only reason that came to mind is maybe they were victims of abuse as well. This doesn't justify their decision it shows that they never received the professional help they needed.

I felt sorry for the children who are caught in the middle this mess. I can only imagine the emotional turmoil the children are feeling. I am quite sure they are feeling angry, sad, hopeless, neglected and rejected. How do you recover from this? How do you move on once the relationship ends?

I don't know how they can move forward from such devastation. I hope that whoever steps up and takes care of the children so well that it doesn't have that much of an affect on them. Who knows maybe their life is better without their mom. I learned that being a mother is earned and not given and every woman who has children does not deserve the title.

Marcee' Bonds
www.marceebonds.com
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To paddle or not to paddle?

Hello all,
Recently on social media I saw where a school district in TX has voted to bring paddling back into their schools. Of course, there is a huge debate online between parents who agree and disagree if this should be allowed in schools. I am in total agreement with this form of discipline.

I grew up with this during my school years and it was an influence on my behavior in school. I believe it was a major factor in most of the children behaviors that were exhibited in my school compared to the classrooms of today. The classrooms today are usually unruly and the students are very disrespectful to their teachers. I have experienced this as a substitute teacher and my sister who is a teacher has as well. This behavior affects the learning and education our children receive. How effective will a teacher be if she/he is disrespected and fear retaliation anytime they attempt to enforce the rules?

I have seen videos online with students in a teacher's face, yelling, cursing, and threatening to harm them.  Most of the time there are no consequences for these actions. But, it doesn't just stop at the school. Kids nowadays are disrespectful to authority period, rather it's their parents, teachers, etc. What has become almost the norm was not common for children in my generation to behave this way. We were disciplined at home as well as school.  We were taught to respect our elders and we were held accountable for the things we did.

Children today have no accountability for the behaviors they display. Society not only removed paddling in schools but it also removed the right from parents to discipline their own children. Psychologist argue that spanking will cause children to be angry and act out, etc. Well, please explain all the school shootings, children killing their parents, cyber bullying, and increased teen suicide rates; just some of the issues that are affecting our youth today.

Taking this right away makes it harder on parents. It takes away the parents authority and   and gives children the "if you hit me I am going to call the police" attitude.  The same children will become adults who are not accountable for what they do and feel like the world owes them something.

I do believe that the discipline should fit the child. Time out does not work for every child and neither does spanking. I feel that society generalized all children the same and said spanking was wrong all together period. That is not the case, some children respond to that type of discipline. I do not believe paddling and spanking is always the answer but I do believe it should be an option.

Marcee' Bonds
A Single Mother's Point of View Raising a Black Man
www.marceebonds.com
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UPDATE!!! Going Live!!...Lets talk...July 19th 8pm CST

Hello everyone,
I was scheduled to go live this Thursday and every one after. But due to scheduling conflicts my go live days will be Tuesday starting July 19th.  Thank you for your support join me on my Facebook page.  I will discuss my book, parenting topics and anything else that I find interesting. Please remember to send me your parenting questions or concerns that you would like me to discuss.

Respectfully,

Marcee' Bonds
info@marceebonds.com
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Going Live....Let's Talk!

Hello,
I am so excited about the opportunities that social media gives us to connect and reach out to each other. I am going to start using Facebook live on my page weekly. I will discuss various topics, talk about my book and answer your questions about parenting.

Send your questions or topic suggestions to:
info@marceebonds.com

Live broadcast schedule
Every Thursday @ 8:00 pm CST starting July 13th

Hope to see you there!

Regards,
Marcee' Bonds
www.marceebonds.com
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